Sunday, April 27, 2008
shit. i feel that i have stagnated somehow. past week have been filled with interviews and tests for uni admissions. during the interview, i could feel myself running out of words or circling around irrelevance. sigh. stagnation stagnation... or rather, retardation. i do feel less academically inclined now. hahaha! yes yes. hate that smu old man. hope u read my blog entry. =P
worry is like a rocking chair. gives you something to do but u go nowhere. . . . . but den again, u cant exactly help it can u. it shows that u care enough about it. i am feeling stupendously worried right now. wondering if i can get into the faculty of my choice. *prays*
i know i am being greedy. shameless me. =X pride issue i bet. lol. all e best to your admissions, whoever that is reading. =)
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Monday, April 21, 2008
alright alright. i am going to update.. haha
well, its been quite an interesting month for me. as you all know, i have been posted to ocs. i was in infantry for 2 wks. den, i crossed over to air force as a wso C3 (weapon systems officer for Command Control Communication) this is my third week in air force, 5th week in ocs.
when i first went in, i felt that i didnt belong there and there are many reasons attributing to that sense of awkwardness.
one, being the fact that literally nobody saw it coming. nobody except jinbo anyway. hes a great friend i made in bmt. but anyway, everyone else fainted when they heard that i got posted to ocs. .
two, the fact that soooo many people are overtly fit in my platoon and that i am struggling to get by physically just did nothing to boost my confidence.
three, i am the only guy from my bmt company in that wing and i didnt knw anyone..
four, they showed us a video of what is to come. its supposed to be something fun and something to look forward to lah. but it just looks so insanely tough that i got demoralized..
anyway, it just wasnt a good feeling. i was feeling quite small and helpless the first 3 nights. like "oh i am totally going to DIE here".. but thankfully, yingqi called. had someone to talk to. goshh.. den i called jon and clovis. den i smsed jinbo. blahblah. just needed to feel more connected lah. den the feeling subsided after some team building team learning stuff conducted to help the platoon bond. blahblah. AND my family came! there was a parents visit session. grandma came too! den i felt more connected and i felt more at ease. furthermore, everyone have the confidence that i can pull through any shit. so that was a really an emotional 2 weeks i had in infantry. zzz.
den, i managed to cross over to air force! the nature of C3 is that we sit in a room with air con and stare at screens and radar and talk to pilots. so basically getting dirty out in the field will never happen to me ever again. and very very fortunately for me, i managed to cross over as a C3 officer! yayness! there were only 5 vacancies. very lucky me. seriously.
in air force, its 8-5 and a 5day work week. so basically, i do less den my infantry counterparts and i am still an officer. however, we tend to be looked down upon by our counterparts as being less worthy just because we dont go through hell lotsa shit and emerge from it stronger and fitter. its pretty ridiculous actually, considering that we do REAL TIME operations and work with REAL air crafts and real people flying. we have to be literally impeccable. stressful ok! infantry dont even have stress. just physically tiring. =X
anyway, enough about ocs.. i totally miss american idol. T_T first time i am NOT watching the show. in sec sch, i always made sure i caught the show. even if i had to watch it on tvmobile, i would even miss bus stops just to make sure i catch the show. or, jeremy would always tape it dwn and we would watch it back when there are free afternoons. gosh. and now, i am unable to catch any episodes except on youtube. DAMNIT. i miss idol. T_T
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